13 skills every man needs to master to be a leader at home
Below are my notes from my men’s leadership community. There’s lots of skills a man needs to master in order to be a leader at home….below are simply 13 of those skills.
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, , be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14
1. A balance between humility and authority
Men who are too humble serve but rarely lead.
Men who are too authoritative boss people around and never serve.
To lead at home you need to master being both tough and tender.
2. A Lord that isn’t you
Most men don’t like to be under anyone’s authority.
The most dangerous man is a man who only acknowledges his own authority over his life.
Proverbs 14:26 says the safest place for women and children to be is in the home of a man who fears the Lord.
The most terrifying thing I can think of would be to give my daughters hand in marriage to a young man who isn’t a Christian. Remember, God didn’t just give you a wife, he gave you his daughter.
3. Wisdom
Be a man of the word.
There’s nothing sexier to a woman than a man who seeks God.
Read the bible at least 4 days a week (if not more). As soon as reading God's word goes from a minority to a majority of your days, you will feel the impact.
4. Having hard conversations
The goal of a man for his family is for his wife and kids to be believers.
To reach this goal you will have to have hard conversations.
Some hard conversations are dealing with sin. Some are simply addressing cultural issues.
The most important thing that you need to have in place for having hard conversations is relationship capital.
5. Repentance
The goal of parenting is to have repentant kids. Simply put, that means they have given their lives to Jesus and are trying to live Jesus way.
Kids aren’t born knowing how to repent. It has to be modeled.
When you make a mistake…repent to your kids. This is how you model it for them.
Submission to God qualifies you as their spiritual leader.
Your kids don’t need to know that you are always right. They need to know that God is always right.
6. Forgiveness and Amnesia
Be quick to forgive.
Be quick to forget.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
7. Initiation
Jesus died for us while we were still sinners.
A man who is a leader at home will initiate relationships, repentance, reconciliation, sacrifice and submission.
8. Responsibility
You are responsible for things not necessarily your fault.
It’s not Jesus’ fault when I sin…but Jesus still involved himself and died for my sin.
Don’t be like Adam who blamed Eve
Be like Jesus and get in the game.
9. Pray Publicly
If your kids hear you pray it’s likely that they will pray.
Some of our families special times have been when we have gathered to pray.
10. Love your family the way they need you to love them
Our mistake is loving them in our way or in a way that is convenient
Use the 5 love languages to love your family as they need you to: Touch, Time, Service, Gifts and Talk.
Jesus prayed that he would not have to die on the cross…but he did it for you anyways. This is how you needed to be loved.
11. Fun
There’s nothing worse that a boring dad
You need to know how to read the bible and how to build a fort with couch cushions.
Don’t just be a dad who tells your kids what not to do…replace those activities with godly fun.
12. Provision
One of the most firm warnings in the bible is 1 Timothy 5:8 “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for the members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
13. The right approach to discipline
Proverbs 3:12 gives the pattern. First, delight in your kids. Second, then you can discipline them.
When you sit down to talk with them about an issue you want them to be thinking “this is gonna be good because my dad loves me.” That happens only as you spend lots of time delighting in them.
Connect your discipline to biblical issues such as lying, bullying, etc…
